This blog might be a change of pace from many things I do blog about. However, I have been listening to Brene Brown’s “Dare to Lead” audio book. I’m hooked. Man, I love her. So much of this has been resonating with me. Especially as I get prepared to leave my classroom in exchange for a more formal leadership role within education.
For the past 6 weeks, I have been processing my emotions around this change. I have been processing my emotions around this change in the midst of a freaking pandemic that has rocked everything I know about my job, my balance as a working mom, and my ability to work and connect with people. So much is changing and I miss the connections with people face to face. I miss smiling at people and picking up on the non-verbal cues…. However, I’m going on a tangent.
Today – I am officially starting my mental transition from classroom teacher to instructional coach. I’m preparing to wrap up my last few days of teaching and it’s bittersweet. I’m leaving my classroom but I’m also leaving a building and community that has been home for 10 years. I’m staying in district and will have many familiar faces. I’m excited about lays in front of me.
However, in light of vulnerability, I want to take a moment to share and document what working from home looks like for me. I take these photos and documentations as a way to record what this time was like. I also took these photos when things were slow.
Children During Office Hours & Meetings
Before you judge these photos during office hours, there are no students on. There’s too much to balance in the midst of those when I have students in order to take a photo.
However, I can’t guarantee my child was this silly or happy during said office hours.
Yesterday – I did have a student, fighting through her own tech issues and her own microphone was not working. While she was figuring out tech, I have a very upset and emotional four year old. Meanwhile, my husband is doing his best to hold down the fort with my oldest and getting them lunch while operating on 2-3 hours of sleep after working his graveyard job because he is “essential”.
So I’m talking, with an upset child in my lap, and the student is only allowed to hear me talking and then responds in the chat. Not easy folks. Luckily, my school kids are SO understanding of this. It’s real life.
This is a silly moment, documented after some rough moments. We have to celebrate the joy in these crazy moments. Find the way to be happy rather than stressed. (Even though it is super stressful.)
My older child provides a different challenge. She is actually thriving in this work from home environment with her school. However, that said, she is struggling with mama needing to balance everything. Mama is trying to teach her school kids and her own kid. Even then, this one thinks mama is not right when she helps her with her math. Which is both exasperating and makes me laugh. I don’t know anything about place value and regrouping into the thousands apparently.
Academically, she is doing just fine. However, there are a couple of days she is home with me alone. Those days, she is needy for attention. It often means interrupted meetings or goofy distracted behaviors at the most inopportune times.
We’re working on it. She’s found a way to include herself and will often play Kahoots when I have enough kids on to play Kahoot. My older is always home with me and is very much a staple of my office hours.
This is reality. It’s not easy but we’re making it work. We’ve found some element of routine. Here’s what I’ve learned….
- Find some “me time” in all of this. I’m home all the time with little people who need me. I’m home all the time with the pull of work calling on my attention. It’s easy to get lost in the giving and forget about taking care of me. For me, this is a daily walk in the mornings. I take this time to do something for myself.
- Take care of mental health. Not everyone was designed for isolation. Not all moms were meant to be stay at home moms or work from home moms. There’s a reason I chose to work outside the home. I need that time away to be a more intentional mom. To be a more intentional employee. I liked keeping things in their boxes. When those boxes were dumped into a single box, it totally sent my mental health into a sketchy place. It takes work, daily intentional work, to stay on top of my mental wellness. It’s worth it.
- Find some boundaries. I needed to learn to take time to step away from the device, from the work, from the social media. I need to model this for my own benefit but also for the benefit of my girls. I needed to learn it was OK to turn off the computer and walk away. I don’t need to make myself available for meetings at all hours of the day. I needed to give myself permission to say no to certain times. This was hard for me.
- Unplug yourself. This one is HUGE for me and my household. Wednesdays are killer computer days. We are a family that is not actually attached to our devices… especially with our children. Screen time has increased by hours a day. Take a break. Unplug…. play a game, do a puzzle, go outside.
- Practice grace. This is hard. We will not have this perfect. We’re learning. I don’t need this to be perfect, I just need to try. Don’t be ashamed you don’t have this perfect. I had to give myself permission to not have it all figured out. Once I gave myself that permission, my stress levels went from 100 to about 25. Practice Grace.
- Find the Joy. This whole thing is new and hard. We don’t like it. There are things we miss. However, after listening to Brene Brown… I’m going to look for the joy. The giggles when I have those moments with my girls after they disrupt my office hours. The memories of working from home. The ability to just play a game with my girls in the middle of the day because we all need a break and some connectedness.
Before I move on to the next reality – here’s a clip from office hours with my J…. who actually recorded this herself. (Smart little thing!)
Insert link here.
The Internet Battle
I live in a very rural spot. It’s absolutely gorgeous and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I don’t actually mind the lack of constant internet connection in my personal life. We don’t need to be connected to devices and information 24-7. It allows for us to connect with one another and not be consumed with “worldly” things.
I do love where I am and I do love the lack of connectivity… when home was sanctuary and not my work space. Now it is my workspace and the lack of connectivity is challenging. At the beginning of this we had to find a new “internet” which has proved to be better than out last. However, we have two options for internet…. Satellite, which has data caps and is super expensive, or cellular networks. We were able to find a cellular router, which has been a life saver, but that’s also got a data cap. My district also provided me with a MiFi device, which as been a life saver as well. Both are imperfect. Sometimes, if I have too much running on one internet device… it crashes.
We ultimately switched our cell phone carrier too because with my daughter doing school at home we were overloading our internet and data. Our cell phone hot spots couldn’t keep up. That said, I’m thankful for all we have. I’m thankful my district provided me something to work on for my school stuff without using all my data for my family. I am thankful we have the means to make the switches and sign up for what we could. At the same time, this has proven quite challenging.
One thing is for sure…. this pandemic is forcing lots of growth and problem solving. Technology is a great tool but it’s still got a long way to go for rural areas. Even in writing this blog, I have switched from three different internet sources and had to upload each photo a minimum of three attempts before they stuck for the sake of this blog. Patience. Patience. Patience.
That said – if this is my struggle… and my daughter’s struggle… How many students do we have that have similar struggles? How many of them have to try to upload their work several times before they can successfully submit? How many of them have to wait 15 minutes for a download? How many of them don’t have the luxury of switching between internet sources to get it done? Compassion. We need compassion with our students because I know I’m not alone.
Learning to Clock Out
Finally. The last challenge of “working from home” is the fact that work is always here. There is no physical act of walking away from the work to transition our day. I’ve learned to tell myself… I’m clocking out now. Work is done for the day or weekend… inevitably, I end up still checking an email. We still need to enjoy our families, our homes, and this gift of “extra” time we have with our loved ones that is not filled up with activities, running errands, or doing the evening “homework” after a day of school.
Walking away is hard to do but it’s necessary. Like, right now, as I type this paragraph, it’s time for our built in break. I have another meeting in 44 minutes but it’s time for lunch and some times with my oldest before I resume the grind of the day and battle her to accomplish her work as well.
Ormberg Teaching 